English
Five or seven years ago, perfectionism was in. The word had just made it into the vocabulary of the cool crowd, so if your eye started twitching when you saw a photo of floor tiles that were poorly aligned, people nodded understandingly and proclaimed you were a ‘Perfectionist!’
A few short years later, the trend was reversed. Today, public opinion is strongly in favor of personal efficiency and career growth, but stable mental health is paramount. As a result, less than a decade later, perfectionism is considered to be a disorder - not only does it get in the way of productivity in our personal and professional lives, but it actually actively harms us. Let's take a look at this phenomenon and find out why that's the case!
The limits of perfection
Let it be known that people who take their work and hobbies seriously and strive to achieve excellent results are worthy of respect. These qualities are attributed to responsible, enterprising and goal-oriented people, but each of these traits has its limits. A need to 'do everything well' can easily transform into an obsessive desire to 'do everything perfectly'.
Perfectionism is rarely limited to just one area, work or creativity. It usually impacts every aspect of our lives and brings us more discomfort than actual value. It's when we clean until everything is spotless or work until we collapse, just to make sure that everything is 'perfect'. And it doesn't matter to us that it takes twenty times as long to get the job done. It doesn't matter that by doing one thing perfectly, we end up missing deadlines on the other ten tasks and letting our teams down. Finally, we don't care that to complete a task in an 'acceptable' way, we need to do it over and over again…
Striving for perfection requires a lot of strength, energy and nerves that should be used towards something more important than arranging pencils in the right order according to their colors.
What happens when perfectionism takes over?
Here's a paradox for you: the more you strive for perfection, the less satisfied you are with your work. You always think that you can do something better, faster, or in a more creative manner. After wasting all your strength and energy on a quality project that you should be proud of, you're still unhappy with it. And any mistake that somehow escapes your attention seems ten times more dramatic than it actually is.
In short - you're left with a frazzled nervous system, chronic fatigue and a low self-esteem. When you're constantly striving for perfection, you're actually just trying to prove to yourself and the people around you that you're worth something. But this is a futile attempt, because in many areas, people already know that you are a valuable member of your family, workplace or society as a whole.
What's more, perfectionism is the opposite of a much more important quality - the ability to finish things. Perfectionists always think they can improve something, so they keep making changes to completed projects, so they can never truly finish anything.
How to fight your desire to do everything perfectly
Unfortunately, perfectionism has a gradual effect on most people, so you might not notice any red flags until it's too late. If you start feeling like you're wasting too much time trying to be perfect, consider the following 5 points:
- Think about the source of your perfectionism. Perfectionism is not a cause, it's a result. Maybe your parents didn't tell you they were proud of you often enough, or believed that praise would spoil their child, and now you think that your work is worthless? Or maybe you're used to being constantly criticized by others - your parents, teachers at school and professors in university - and now you don't believe that anyone could like what you are doing? By identifying the root of the problem, you will be able to tackle perfectionism from within.
- Everyone is stressed sometimes (and it's normal). Difficult work, tough deadlines, responsibilities are all reasons for anxiety, tension and stress. In addition to this, chronic perfectionists is constantly worried about the way they are evaluated by others and by themselves. So, first of all, don't suppress your stress - otherwise, your body won't be able to handle it. And secondly, learn to be honest and sincere with the people around you, especially the ones you trust, whose opinions matter to you. Ask them how they feel about what you are doing and listen to their answers. It's quite likely that they believe that you are already perfect enough.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes. Mistakes and small errors can be used for reflection, but you shouldn't worry about them. Allow yourself to do less than you could, let other people review your work to find mistakes that you might not notice if you're too tired. There's nothing wrong with that, we're all human, and it's normal to be less efficient when you're tired, hungry, or emotionally distressed from a fight with someone you love. When you make a mistake, don't think about what you failed to do. Instead, take stock of the enormous work that you've already completed. Is this mistake really a big deal compared to all you've done? Chances are, it isn't, which means that you can easily correct it or even ignore it altogether.
- Don't bite off more than you can chew. When you set yourself goals that require you to overcome difficulties and leave your comfort zone, this can be a beneficial experience. You gain new experience, open new opportunities and discover hidden resources, finally achieving your goal. This is the way you should strive to achieve quality results, but this is not the path chosen by the perfectionists. Instead of a tangible goal, perfectionists strive to reach an illusion, so even when they reach their goals, they don't feel satisfied. Try to formulate concrete goals and don't bite off more than you can chew. Learn to be happy with what you do manage to achieve, because you should be proud of each step you complete.
- The world is not perfect, and it never will be. No matter how hard you try to create a perfect system, there are always unexpected factors that can shock you and move you out of your comfort zone. You need to understand that not everything depends on you, and external influences are absolutely normal.
Remember, more often than not, work that is 'good enough', despite many minor errors, can be considered to be 'perfect work'. Make sure your goals are realistic, and you will be able to see the world differently - as a calm person who has the right to make a mistake, rather than a slave to your own perfectionism.
