Sculptor of Your Own Reality: How Our Expectations Shape the Future

There is a scientific basis for it-the so-called Pygmalion Effect. This phenomenon explains why our deepest beliefs about ourselves and others have the strange property of coming true. We have explored why it's worth learning to manage this psychological mechanism and how to use it to change your life.

We Can Be Prophets Too

The Pygmalion Effect, also known as the Rosenthal Effect, is a psychological phenomenon that describes how our expectations and beliefs about other people or ourselves influence behavior, actions, and work outcomes, thereby leading to the fulfillment of those very expectations. Simply put, we unconsciously contribute to the realization of what we sincerely, sometimes without good reason, believe in.

For example, if we are somehow convinced, even on a subconscious level, that a new colleague is a talented and promising specialist, we will unconsciously offer them more interesting tasks, express support, and show trust. And they, in turn, sensing this, will open up and truly show excellent results. Thus, our prediction about them comes true. The opposite also happens-when we are sure a newcomer is weak and unprofessional, we won't give them proper attention. They, sensing this attitude, will lose motivation and confirm the negative forecast.

This effect is named after the hero of the ancient Greek myth-the sculptor Pygmalion. According to legend, he created a statue of a woman so perfect that he fell in love with his creation. His passion and sincere belief in her perfection were so strong that the goddess Aphrodite took pity and brought the statue to life. In essence, psychologists drew a direct parallel: our strong expectations can also "breathe life" into certain qualities and potential in other people and in ourselves.

What Science Says

The founding father of the scientific approach to this phenomenon is considered to be Harvard professor Robert Rosenthal. In the 1960s, he conducted a series of experiments.

First, he and his colleague Lenore Jacobson went to an ordinary elementary school in San Francisco. First-graders were offered an IQ test, but the teachers were given false results. They were told the names of several children who allegedly showed incredible intellectual potential. In reality, these children were chosen completely at random.

A year later, the researchers analyzed the results. It turned out that the randomly chosen "genius" children showed significantly higher academic success compared to their peers. Let me remind you that they did not possess any special abilities. Rosenthal suggested that the teachers' belief in their exceptionality changed their pedagogical behavior: they smiled at them more often, gave them more time to answer, offered more challenging tasks, and corrected mistakes more delicately. The children, sensing this special treatment, began to believe in themselves and strive to live up to their high status.

Later, Rosenthal conducted an analogous experiment, but with laboratory rats. One group of student researchers was told they had been given specially bred "smart" rats, capable of quickly learning to navigate a maze. Another group was told their rats were the most ordinary. In fact, all the rodents were from the same population and were no different. The result was the same as in the previous experiment-the "smart" rats, trained with an expectation of success, performed the tasks noticeably better than the "dumb" ones. The students, believing in the potential of their charges, were more patient, gentle, and attentive with them, which influenced the outcome. These experiments vividly demonstrated that the effect works even beyond human communication.

Another researcher, sociologist Robert Merton, said that self-fulfilling prophecies are like self-hypnosis. This was confirmed by an experiment by scientists Rebecca Curtis and Kim Miller. Students in two groups were paired up. Participants in one group were deliberately told they were liked by their partner, while participants in the other group were told the opposite. Of course, this turned out to be untrue; there was no evidence for it. But after the young people interacted, it became clear that the partners who supposedly liked each other found it easier to make contact, were more interested in communication, and were more accommodating.

Two Sides of the Coin

This effect simultaneously opens our eyes, but on the other hand, carries potential risks.

The benefits are obvious. The Pygmalion Effect is:

• An engine for self-development. Belief in your own growth forces the brain to seek opportunities rather than see obstacles everywhere. You begin to notice more resources and try new things with particular enthusiasm.

• A key to effective management and pedagogy. Leaders, educators, and bosses who sincerely believe in the potential of their team, their students, or their charges create an environment where this potential unfolds, and the learners' skills flourish.

• The foundation of healthy relationships. Expecting the best from a partner-romantic or business (to be attentive, caring)-often provokes them to live up to these expectations. We subconsciously strive to justify the positive image that significant people see in us.

But there are also serious risks:

• The flip side-the Golem Effect. This is the negative version of the Pygmalion Effect, where low expectations from others (managers, teachers) or from oneself lead to worsening results and decreased productivity. This type of self-fulfilling prophecy is often encountered in work and education, blocking a person's potential due to negative attitudes and constant criticism. Thus, low expectations and prejudices (for example, stereotypes about gender or age-based abilities) can literally "break" people, limiting their growth.

• Justification of toxic relationships. A dangerous trap: believing that a partner will "improve" or that "they are actually good," one can endure inappropriate treatment for years.

• Denial of reality. After all, this psychological mechanism is not a magic wand. It does not cancel objective facts, such as a lack of skills. An exaggerated belief in success without adequate preparation leads to failure.

User's Manual: How to Become a Pygmalion

Understanding this effect gives us a powerful tool for consciously restructuring life, improving skills, and developing a career. Here's how to use it:

1. Conduct an audit of your inner beliefs. Ask yourself honestly: What do I believe about my career, appearance, ability to build relationships, to learn? Write down these beliefs and opinions. Which ones are limiting (for example, "I don't have an analytical mind"), and which ones expand possibilities ("I quickly master new things")? In each negative belief, try to find the positive aspects as well. For instance, if you lack a certain skill, be sure to clarify which of your own skills you are proud of. In reality, when a person is convinced they are unattractive, uninteresting to others, it is very difficult to find motivation for meeting new people, romantic relationships, and so on. Our brain is fundamentally risk-averse and does not release dopamine, which prompts us to action, when the probability of success is low (according to our own, often irrational, opinion).

2. Consciously create positive "prophecies." Start with small, achievable areas. For example, instead of "I'm always late," try the attitude: "I easily manage my time and arrive on time." Don't expect instant transformation. Your goal is not to deceive your mind, but to give it a new, more useful program to work with.

3. Reinforce expectations with actions and environment. Faith without works is dead. If you decide to believe in your athletic shape, start with short walks, morning exercises, or going to the gym at least once a week. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your goals, whose high expectations will support you.

4. Stay in touch with reality. Use the Pygmalion Effect as a compass. Set ambitious but realistic goals. Your faith should push you to learn new things and overcome difficulties, not to ignore obvious problems.

5. Exercise, sleep well, and devote time to developing mindfulness. Physical activity, proper nutrition rich in tyrosine (think bananas, nuts, fish), and adequate sleep promote the production of dopamine-a neurotransmitter that affects our mood, motivation, and prompts action. Stress also affects the Pygmalion Effect and its flip side, the Golem Effect, and stress reduces this very dopamine. To manage stress, it's important to practice meditation and breathing exercises.

The Pygmalion Effect suggests that we build our own future-first with our thoughts, then with our words and actions. By choosing what to believe in, we, like the sculptor Pygmalion, bring our own dreams and ideals to life.